Weekend Wrap-Up
BennyProfane
Senior Member
Woke up just after 4 am Saturday morning, and headed down to the casino. TBC was planted in his seat playing four different machines. Practically no one else was inside the Gold Strike. Go to eat breakfast in the 24 hour buffet, and by the time I get back, he's gone, so I sit down to play. Only made it through 4 shoes before I threw in the towel. The count went high on each one, and I couldn't win a hand. Every blackjack player knows that there different ways to lose in that game, and some are more frustrating than others. I kept getting dealt 20s that wound up losing to five card 21s. I check my comps and I have $17, and I need to have $30 to be able to stay there for another night. This means I would have to run another $1300 through the machine, and at this point, I would rather stick needles in my eyes than play the thing for one more second. The sun's still barely coming up, so I drive into Vegas and park in the lot at Binion's. The sportsbook there has just opened, so I bet the TommyL picks there. Head over to the Fremont and spend two hours talking to the ticket writers while I'm watching the Memphis game. The bet wins on an overtime suck-out, and I'm very happy.
Left downtown and headed north to a Barnes and Noble in a neighborhood I haven't been to in years. Go to the Games section and read all the books they have on blackjack. There's nothing there that I haven't seen before. Leave the store and drive north to a sushi restaurant in a neighborhood I've never been in that's somewhere near Santa Fe Station. I had a coffee date last week with a woman named Jillian; she's completely atypical for Vegas, which is weird since she was born and raised here. I was surprised when she agreed to meet me for a second date. We eat sushi, and make conversation. She talks about Quantum Mechanics and String Theory, and some new particle that scientists have discovered. I do my best to follow along, occasionally asking questions or pivoting to something I know about that is tangential to what she is talking about. She tells me that her iq is 180 and because of that, she always has trouble fitting in, but that she likes me. I wonder if she is multi-orgasmic and if she cums easily, but stifle the urge to ask her. She tells me that I have gorgeous eyes. We talk at the restaurant for two hours and go to a park and walk around. It's a pretty typical conversation for such a time, stories about the past, hopes for the future, the fact that neither of us have any dark secrets. I tell her a few of my tamer stories, and she laughs at them. We talk another two hours, and she seems to be getting tired, so I recognize that women can only handle me in small doses and bid her goodnight.
Drive back downtown and check scores. Apparently Kansas won easily, so my net worth has grown by another one percent, and the Pacific game is going to start soon. I sit down in the book at the Fremont, and notice an old friend of mine. She is a woman of the night whom I met several years ago and might have made out with once. I try to shamelessly flirt with her, but she is having none of it. The dog racing form is more interesting to her than I am. She tells me that her 59th birthday is tomorrow. I tell her that I already got her the best present she's ever going to get. She asks what, and I point towards my crotch. She genuinely laughs. I am in. We flirt some more, and she tells me she likes me but is worried about our age different. I think to myself that I like her but am worried what stds she has, and I have no idea how to tactfully ask her. She asks me if I can lend her money if Pacific winds up covering. I ask her what she's willing to do to earn the loan. She says nothing. I realize that it's 9:30, and I have no idea where I'm going to sleep tonight.
I head over to the Plaza to use their wifi for what seems like the 500th time this year. I check several hotels to see what their specials are tonight. I had completely forgotten that it was St. Patrick's day and that pretty much every single room in the entire city is full. I check priceline and several other sites, and this is confirmed. I am starting to get very tired. I drive out to Red Rock Canyon because I can camp there for $7.50 a night, and at this point, that's the absolute best ev I am going to find. It takes forever to drive there. As soon as I arrive, a giant sign reading, "CAMPGROUND CLOSED. NO OVERFLOW CAMPING ALLOWED" blocks the road. Great. Just great.
My phone is dead, so I double back to the Red Rock and plug it in at a table near the front desk. A flawless blond is sitting about twenty feet away from me, and I cover my face with my hand so that it won't be obvious that I'm staring at her between my fingers. She seems stuck up, and I wonder how she'd react if she knew that I'm going to think about her every time I masturbate for the next two weeks.
I begin calling friends to ask for a place to crash. It goes to voice mail on the first four. I'm stuck, so I resign myself to the fact that I might have to stay awake all night and sleep in my car for a few hours. The life of a semi-professional gambler.
I decide out of desperation to call Cutter and ask for help. He and his wife went to Laughlin to attend a concert. I call him and have the following conversation:
"ARGH! Hello?"
"Cutter?? Is that you?"
"ARGH! Yeah, hi Benny."
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm just in the middle of taking a gargantuan shit. Do you need anything?"
"Um, I know it's short notice, but do you know if there are any vacancies anywhere in Laughlin?"
He said there were a very few, so I begin making the drive. I arrive in the parking lot at the Aquarius a little bit before 2. We walk around and I take more mental notes on his video poker routine. He fills me in on the latest with Cigar Girl. She is coming to town on the 22nd. He has already paid with his comps for her to stay in Jean for ten nights. In return, she has to sleep with him and any of his friends, on demand, for the duration of her stay. He shows me a text message on his phone from her that says, "I'll even fuck your friend Benny."
Fall asleep in my new room at the Pioneer just before 5, and wake up at 11.
Left downtown and headed north to a Barnes and Noble in a neighborhood I haven't been to in years. Go to the Games section and read all the books they have on blackjack. There's nothing there that I haven't seen before. Leave the store and drive north to a sushi restaurant in a neighborhood I've never been in that's somewhere near Santa Fe Station. I had a coffee date last week with a woman named Jillian; she's completely atypical for Vegas, which is weird since she was born and raised here. I was surprised when she agreed to meet me for a second date. We eat sushi, and make conversation. She talks about Quantum Mechanics and String Theory, and some new particle that scientists have discovered. I do my best to follow along, occasionally asking questions or pivoting to something I know about that is tangential to what she is talking about. She tells me that her iq is 180 and because of that, she always has trouble fitting in, but that she likes me. I wonder if she is multi-orgasmic and if she cums easily, but stifle the urge to ask her. She tells me that I have gorgeous eyes. We talk at the restaurant for two hours and go to a park and walk around. It's a pretty typical conversation for such a time, stories about the past, hopes for the future, the fact that neither of us have any dark secrets. I tell her a few of my tamer stories, and she laughs at them. We talk another two hours, and she seems to be getting tired, so I recognize that women can only handle me in small doses and bid her goodnight.
Drive back downtown and check scores. Apparently Kansas won easily, so my net worth has grown by another one percent, and the Pacific game is going to start soon. I sit down in the book at the Fremont, and notice an old friend of mine. She is a woman of the night whom I met several years ago and might have made out with once. I try to shamelessly flirt with her, but she is having none of it. The dog racing form is more interesting to her than I am. She tells me that her 59th birthday is tomorrow. I tell her that I already got her the best present she's ever going to get. She asks what, and I point towards my crotch. She genuinely laughs. I am in. We flirt some more, and she tells me she likes me but is worried about our age different. I think to myself that I like her but am worried what stds she has, and I have no idea how to tactfully ask her. She asks me if I can lend her money if Pacific winds up covering. I ask her what she's willing to do to earn the loan. She says nothing. I realize that it's 9:30, and I have no idea where I'm going to sleep tonight.
I head over to the Plaza to use their wifi for what seems like the 500th time this year. I check several hotels to see what their specials are tonight. I had completely forgotten that it was St. Patrick's day and that pretty much every single room in the entire city is full. I check priceline and several other sites, and this is confirmed. I am starting to get very tired. I drive out to Red Rock Canyon because I can camp there for $7.50 a night, and at this point, that's the absolute best ev I am going to find. It takes forever to drive there. As soon as I arrive, a giant sign reading, "CAMPGROUND CLOSED. NO OVERFLOW CAMPING ALLOWED" blocks the road. Great. Just great.
My phone is dead, so I double back to the Red Rock and plug it in at a table near the front desk. A flawless blond is sitting about twenty feet away from me, and I cover my face with my hand so that it won't be obvious that I'm staring at her between my fingers. She seems stuck up, and I wonder how she'd react if she knew that I'm going to think about her every time I masturbate for the next two weeks.
I begin calling friends to ask for a place to crash. It goes to voice mail on the first four. I'm stuck, so I resign myself to the fact that I might have to stay awake all night and sleep in my car for a few hours. The life of a semi-professional gambler.
I decide out of desperation to call Cutter and ask for help. He and his wife went to Laughlin to attend a concert. I call him and have the following conversation:
"ARGH! Hello?"
"Cutter?? Is that you?"
"ARGH! Yeah, hi Benny."
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm just in the middle of taking a gargantuan shit. Do you need anything?"
"Um, I know it's short notice, but do you know if there are any vacancies anywhere in Laughlin?"
He said there were a very few, so I begin making the drive. I arrive in the parking lot at the Aquarius a little bit before 2. We walk around and I take more mental notes on his video poker routine. He fills me in on the latest with Cigar Girl. She is coming to town on the 22nd. He has already paid with his comps for her to stay in Jean for ten nights. In return, she has to sleep with him and any of his friends, on demand, for the duration of her stay. He shows me a text message on his phone from her that says, "I'll even fuck your friend Benny."
Fall asleep in my new room at the Pioneer just before 5, and wake up at 11.