joke for golfers and

brians

> A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course,<br>>> > became confused as to where he was on the course.<br>>> > Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him.<br>>> > He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew<br>>> > what hole he was playing.<br>>> > She replied,<br>>> > "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on<br>>>the<br>>> > 6th hole."<br>>> > He thanked her and went back to his golf.<br>>> > On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again<br>>>with<br>>> > the same request.<br>>> > She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must<br>>>be<br>>> > on the 13th hole."<br>>> > Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.<br>>> > He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same<br>>>lady<br>>> > sitting at the end of the bar.<br>>> > He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.<br>>> > The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course<br>>>often.<br>>> > He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation <br>for<br>>> > your help.<br>>> > I understand that you are in the sales profession.<br>>> > I'm in sales, also.<br>>> > What do you sell?"<br>>> > She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."<br>>> > "No, I won't", he responded.<br>>> > "Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."<br>>> > With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.<br>>> > She said, "See I knew you would laugh."<br>>> > "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied.<br>>> > "I'm a salesman for Preparation H,<br>>> > so I'm still a hole behind you."<br>>> ><br>>><br>>>

footballpix

A guy goes to his doctor because his elbow is killing him.<br><br>The doctor says, "this is somewhat unconventional but I have a new test I <br>want to try on you... pee in this cup and my machine will diagnose your <br>problem". <br><br>The man says, "A machine? That's bullshit!" but he does it, the doctor <br>pours the specimen into the machine and out pops a little tape that says <br>that the man has Tennis Elbow.<br><br>The man says, "That's ridiculous, I don't even play tennis!"<br><br>The doctor tells him, "You don't believe me? Take this beaker home and pee <br>in it, when you bring it back, my new machine will diagnose your problem <br>once again and tell us once and for all what's wrong with your elbow... <br>it's never been wrong!"<br><br>The man takes the beaker home and says, "I'm gonna show this doctor that <br>his new machine is full of crap..." and so he gets his dog to pee in it, <br>his wife to pee in it and finally he jerks off in it and takes it back to <br>the doctor.<br><br>The doc pours it in the machine and about a minute later, the tape pops <br>out. The doctor tears it off and tells the man, "It says here that your <br>wife is pregnant, your dog has rabies and if you don't stop jerking off, <br>you will NEVER get rid of that Tennis Elbow!"